The Senior Citizen and Me

Periodically we help out some senior citizens in our community and today was one of those days. It went something like this:

SC: Honey, can I get your help with something?
Me: Sure, what do you need?
SC: Well, I received my absentee ballot for the primary election in the mail today and I have a few questions.
Me: Okay?
SC: What’s a Surrogate?
Me: Someone that takes the place of someone else, you know like a substitute- like a surrogate mother. Why?
SC: Well, my ballot asks that I vote for one Surrogate. So who would this person be a substitute for?
Me: Someone in government.
SC: So you don’t know what a Surrogate is either, do you honey?
Me: No, I guess not, but I’ll find out for you.
SC: Good, because I never like voting for something I don’t know anything about.
Me: I wish more people were like you.
SC: I have another question.
Me: Okay?
SC: Why do they want me to vote for one male and one female for State Committee? Seems rather silly. One male and one female. What if I wanted to vote for two females?
Me: Good question, I don’t know.
SC: Sigh
Me: I’ll try to find out for you.
SC: Other than governor, there are no choices on the ballot.
Me: What do you mean?
SC: For every office except Governor, there’s only one choice, even for the half male and half female.
Me: Half male, half female?
SC: Yes, on the Democrat’s ballot they want people to choose a male for a half a vote and a female for half a vote.
Me: Oh.
SC: Why don’t they just have you vote for one whole person vote?
Me: Gosh, I don’t know. I’ll try to find out for you.
SC: Don’t worry about it honey, I’m not voting for the Democrats anyway. I used to be a Democrat. Never going to vote for ‘em again, that’s how I ended up here.
Me: How’s that?
SC: Property taxes got so high, I had to sell my house, didn’t know where else to go, so I’m here. Life goes on, but I’m never voting for a Democrat again. Not even for a half vote female. Te-he.
Me: Sorry you had to sell your house, it just doesn’t seem fair.
SC: The Republicans don’t have half vote males and females.
Me: Well that’s good.
SC: But just like the Democrats, they don’t give you any choices either, except for Governor. Well, the Democrats aren’t even giving you a choice for that.
Me: What do you mean?
SC: Well, they’ve already picked everybody, except Governor. Why do they want people to vote if they’ve already picked all the winners? Vote for one and they give you one name, vote for two and they give you two names. Even for the State Committee male and female. Somebody’s already made all the choices. What’s the point of asking people to vote?
Me: I don’t know.
SC: Honey, I thought you wrote about New Jersey politics on the intercom?